Let’s play a game…

Let’s play this game… Oh let’s play this game too…

 

You decide the rules, you just say it and I’ll play. For I once promised I’ll play along… against you and yet by your side and for that’s all I wanna do. For you are all the smiles and you are all the wins… for you are all the tears and all the defeats too. For it’s just you and me. Let’s play this game together.

 

Let’s have you play foul left n’ right n’ center and I’ll still play. Let’s play it your way… Let’s have you winning all the time… and I’ll still play. Let’s have you defeat me times and again… oh let’s have you defeat me without a match and I’ll still play. Let me surrender… times and again… and yet again I’ll play.

 

I’ll play along. I’ll play how you like. You want me to stand by your side… I’ll do. You want me to cheer you winning over me.. I’ll do. You want me to be you… ah I will. You want there be no two sides and still your side to win… I’ll make that happen. Crazy wishes aren’t they… for you I’ll make them true.

 

Come… let’s play this game too…

So… that was your best shot?

Not good enough dear! Just not good enough.

Your lessons have never been hard enough to stop me from making mistakes. Nor have your apologies been strong enough to make me numb. But all these times I thought you have your best weapons yet hidden in darks of some out of world caves. All these times I believed you could, you just don’t.

But today I think you can’t, today I think, you are not capable of wanting to hurt me. Today I think I have more of everything than you. I have courage more devilish than yours, I have love more feverish than yours, I have edges sharper than yours, I have promises way harder than yours, I have insanity way blind than yours, I have limits that you cannot push me off, I have wounds that you can’t heal, and faiths that you can’t break, secrets that you can’t laugh off, and a heart you cannot test.

You are afraid to hurt me to devastation, you fear that I will break and you won’t be able to fix that. You love me and that makes you weak, that makes your hurts weak, that makes you apologies weak. You love me and that makes you imprisoned.

I… on the contrary, I love you and that makes me free. I love you and that makes it easy to hurt you and fight with you and be angry with you. I love you and that gives me the freedom to break up with you and come back as many times. Freedom to cry and sob and laugh crazily in love. Freedom to push myself off the limits, off the edges for it’s your job to rescue me. Freedom to be blind and insane and feverishly high and low, for it’s your job to hold my hand and bring me home safe.

You can’t do that. Oh poor you! you can’t cry for me and you can’t smile in love, for you have to stay still in all my turbulence. You have to love me and yet not let me know. O My! You have to hurt me but not so hard that I break, you have cuddle me but not be so soft that I know you are falling for me, you have to teach me lessons that you know I won’t learn, you have to give me punishments after each of which I will wink at you and tell you that I love you! You hate to punish me… but you have to. You hate telling me that you love me, but you end up confessing. You have a whole lot to figure out, you have so much to take care of, you have so much to balance between, and I just don’t want to understand your cares, your rules, your limits… I like to believe you are limitless and I am stubborn in my beliefs. You want me to grow up and I don’t, you want me follow rules and I don’t, you want me to fear hurts and I don’t, you want me to be realistic but I have my myths dear! You try hard to break them and I smile back at you saying… so… that was your best shot?

Beauty of a Small Life…

Feeling blue I sit by the river side… made numb by its huge mighty wave
Ambitions that I once thought were future I watch them all washed away
King size dreams of a little girl… to ride all waves… to win whole of the world
Little did she know… hard way she learned… world doesn’t work that way

Feeling blue I stroll by the roadside alone… in the deafening sound of rush
On the verge of dying a dream of success stands… and all I could do is push
They peep through the huge crowd… and I take my eyes away from them
I abandoned to shrill winters all that I hatched like my child in a warm hush

Feeling blue I walk to an old place… with flowers in bloom and grasses green
Where people are old and gray… Oh I walk to a simpler world… to an easier life
What no one knows in my world… what somehow resembles to my old good
Did I leave it all in search for future that I call my today, damned of me! O My!

The blue will be washed off… a naïve faith blooms… an innocent wish unfolds
Scared dreams walk through crowd, drowning ambitions emerge from waves
The little girl kindles inside me a new dream of calmness, of un-celebratedness
May I live in here for a little while… unsung but happy… small but beautiful…

P.S. I know its a disconnect but when did I ever care? So… Happy Birthday!